Why Setting Boundaries is a Valuable Practice for Everyone, Especially Creatives
In the past, whenever I heard the phrase "setting boundaries," I immediately associated it with something negative. I pictured someone drawing a thick red line on the ground while an armed guard stood there unblinking, ready to take drastic measures against anyone who crossed it. It might sound intimidating, right? However, this perspective reflected my detachment from the positive connotation of boundaries and their essential role in our lives. Boundaries are not about control; they are about affirming your own needs and priorities.
Here's how I establish my own boundaries in five steps:
1.Establishing Non-Negotiables (because our boundaries need to be rooted in something bigger than us)
Anyone who has worked with me through Breathing Space Creative has likely heard me emphasize the importance of non-negotiables. Whether I'm setting boundaries for a writing project, an event, or any aspect of daily life, I always begin by establishing my non-negotiables. Let me illustrate this with an example: my ongoing novel, which I've been working on for the past five years. As I approached the finish line for the first draft, I knew that I would soon be sharing it with my publisher and possibly my editor. Understanding my writing process (mainly that my initial drafts are quite rough and that the first revision amounts to a complete rewrite), I documented a few aspects that I was unwavering about, along with clear explanations of why they were non-negotiable. I only share these non-negotiables if the need arises. For my novel, one non-negotiable is the title, and I'm steadfast in my commitment because I have a clear rationale behind it. Having these non-negotiables allows me to navigate discussions about edits effectively. When you establish non-negotiables, you hold onto intentional and meaningful elements, making it easier to let go of those that don't align with your priorities. I've implemented non-negotiables in various aspects of my life, making it simpler to stay true to myself and ensure I have dedicated creative time.
2.Weekly Planning and Organization
Achieving impeccable organization in every facet of my life has been a game-changer, enabling me to initiate and build two businesses from the ground up independently. While it's not always possible to tidy up every mess, some messes can be temporarily set aside. Setting boundaries is crucial in this context because although I determine my own hours, I need to work to earn income. It's that straightforward. There are no paid sick days, vacation days, or paid coffee breaks. When I decide to take time off, it's deliberate, preplanned, and necessary. Every Sunday, I sit down to map out my entire month, inserting all my events and meetings into my regular calendar to provide a comprehensive view of the month ahead. I also utilize an online booking system that allows clients and students to schedule meetings based on my calendar availability, automatically integrating them without my intervention. Once this is complete, I create a detailed weekly calendar that accommodates client work, various writing projects, reading deadlines, volunteer commitments, and any other obligations I've agreed to. I employ color-coded labels and deadlines to monitor my progress (or occasionally, the lack thereof) and prioritize tasks on a medium-micro level for the week. Each task is linked to the relevant file and spreadsheet, eliminating the need for time-consuming searches. I further break things down into a daily to-do list for one-off tasks that don't require multiple steps, distinct from the week-at-a-glance calendar. Each day, I review all three calendars to easily visualize my work week and work month. This meticulous organization not only frees up mental space but also enhances my capacity for creativity. This is how I continue to write and teach, spend time with my family, and manage two businesses successfully. #ILOVEAPPSANDCALENDARS
3.Creating Start and End Time Bookends
It's all too easy to become deeply engrossed in a project, work, or an assignment, often leading to burnout. To establish effective time boundaries, I've found it essential to set daily "bookends" for when I start and when I finish my work. This practice applies to those working a traditional nine-to-five schedule as well. If you find yourself working late into the night because it's the only time available, you're setting yourself up for burnout. Trust me.
I kick off my day at 7 a.m. and never work past 6 p.m. Additionally, I disconnect from screens by 9 p.m. These designated times serve as my bookends. By adhering to this schedule, I ensure I have three uninterrupted hours for writing between 6 p.m. and 9 p.m. Admittedly, I do need to prepare dinner during that time, but I've streamlined the process by prepping all the ingredients for the week on Sundays, so dinner never takes more than fifteen minutes to make.
4. Asking for Help as a Source of Replenishment
This has been the most challenging piece of the boundary-setting puzzle for me. For the longest time, seeking assistance implied acknowledging my own inexperience or vulnerability. It took considerable time for me to realize that requesting help is, in fact, intricately tied to honoring the boundaries I've diligently established for myself. After all, isn't one of the reasons we set boundaries to recharge and re-energize? Just last week, I had an epiphany when I found myself overbooked with tasks, realizing that there was no way I could complete all of them on time without assistance. I had to swallow my pride and reach out for help.
I asked a friend if they could provide me with transportation, even though it was a bit difficult for me. Firstly, because I should have already obtained my driver's license, and secondly, because I've always disliked inconveniencing others by asking for rides. However, I realized that doing so would save me a two-hour commute, allowing me to channel that time into my project. Once I completed my work, I made the conscious decision to skip an event on my calendar and instead engaged in some stretching and self-care to rejuvenate my energy. This is where the concept of seeking help and setting boundaries converges with the idea of replenishment. It's truly a revelation!
5.Weekly Reflection and Realignment
This is my personal favourite. Each week, after all tasks are completed, organized, and prepared, I take the time to reflect on how my week unfolded and where I believe I could have improved. I select a weekly intention and make a commitment to myself to focus on it until the week concludes, at which point I pick up a new intention. I also plan out my physical activity for the upcoming week and mentally prepare myself for it.
Part of my weekly reflection and realignment process involves setting aside time to simply sit and read. Even if I can only manage to keep my eyes open for another fifteen minutes, I ensure that I've not only accomplished everything on my to-do list but also left space in between tasks to recharge.
I've heard countless stories about authors burning out, grappling with anxiety, and contemplating giving up. I know this because I was perilously close to making that very decision myself. It's imperative that we take better care of ourselves, and if we discover a system that works for us, we should hold onto it tightly.
We all require the space to request what we need and infuse care and love into our days, enabling us to pursue our passions for as long as possible, in a healthy and joyful manner. And if you are already burnt out start with assessing and understanding your burnout using our first step burnout worksheet.
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